26
Feb
16

The Bollywood Bride drinking game. CBR8 Review 12.

UnknownDrink every time Ria’s aunties do something charming. Think about how you wish there was more about this lovely group of ladies in the book. Wouldn’t it be nice to find out how their friendships came to be?

Drink whenever Jen and Nikhil are front and center in the story. Its their wedding. I’d like to know more about Jen. I know she’s a doctor and she’s uncomfortable in a sari. But what else makes her tick?

Drink whenever the book actually alludes to Bollywood and how that business works. Bollywood produces hundred of films every year and creates mega-stars, the likes of which I’m not sure we can fully understand. Like Brangelina x 100.

Drink whenever Ria’s aunt and uncle show how lovely they are. Their love for the three main children in this book is pretty spectacular, and I adored when the uncle told the story about meeting the aunt. I’d read a whole book about them and the auntie squad.

Drink whenever Ria’s hometown of Mumbai is actually described in any way whatsoever.

Drink each time Vikram’s mom does something that seems human.

Drink when the actual details of the wedding are described. It sounded gorgeous. I wish we got more of that instead of sex in a supply closet.

Drink every time important topics like mental health and adoption are discussed openly and frankly.

Drink whenever it is inferred that Ria is a great artist and yet then we don’t hear about it again for another 100 pages.

What’s that? Not drunk yet? I guess those things didn’t happen very often. How about with these rules:

Take a sip anytime someone exercises improperly.

Take a  sip whenever Vikram gets so unbelievably angry you wonder why he isn’t taking anger management classes.

Take a sip whenever Ria has the opportunity to tell Vikram something resembling the truth about how she feels, but pulls a Lady Edith and decides to keep her mouth shut.

Take a sip every time Vikram seductively (?) breathes on Ria’s lips.

Take two drops every time Ria says “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Take a drop when each and every opportunity they have for this entire mess to be cleared up is wasted.

Now call an ambulance and get your stomach pumped. You probably have alcohol poisoning.

 

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